Who is John Paul Gomez?

Disclaimer: Though most accounts contained within this page are true, this about page tries to depart from other about-us pages by soliciting laughs from its readers. Take it with a grain of salt. Life is hard enough. Smiling a little is not going to hurt :-)

My name is John Paul Gomez. I am not a chess grandmaster. I go by Paul and I don’t really like it when people call me John. I am well known online as godfly but my friends in real life prefer to call me by my initials JPG (pronounced Jay-peg) My mom insists on calling me JP which I used to hate but now I hate to admit that I’m starting to like. My dad calls me Pablo and my closest friends are the only ones allowed to call me that. My wife calls me ‘honey’ on a good day, ‘loser’ for the rest of the week. I am multilingual- I speak English, Filipino and Gibberish. I wear socks on Tuedays.

I grew up in a relatively unknown town in a relatively unknown island somewhere in a relatively unknown country called the Philippines which happened to be the land of Jesus and the pirates before it was taken over by the ninjas. Because of the 500 years of interbreeding of different races and inbreeding amongst cousins, Filipino people emerged as the most beautiful and talented people in the world as demonstrated by this fine specimen right here. The Philippines is now a free country ruled by Manny Pacquiao.

My high-school life was a very colorful one. It’s so full of colors. And the highlights of my college life includes getting addicted to some drug that was popular back in World War II, numerous public drunkeness episodes, getting harrased by his gay landlord, public brawls, relationships with weird random girls including a would-be nun, getting meaningless tattoos, and more general awkwardness that would make Jim Levenstein look like a playah.

I am a very industrious man that is why I like to move all the time. Like if it gets too uncomfortable in the couch, I move to the other couch.

I was such a late bloomer when it comes to computers. The first time I used the Internet was in 1996 when I was about to start my first year college studying Electronics and Communications Engineering at the “Pontifical and Royal” University of Santo Tomas. The first time I discovered b00bies on the Internet, I immediately got hooked with computers.

I dropped out on my 3rd year and worked at 7-11 for a month. And then I enrolled at AMA Computer University and became schoolmates with the author of the Love Bug. That school was a big joke. The students are spoiled retards and outcasts from other Universities while the teachers are effing lepremorons. Seriously. The only thing I liked about my stay there was that I learned Photoshop and got my Level 77 Necromancer and Level 62 Barbarian because there’s nothing else to do. I graduated but never attended the ceremonies.

My very first job straight out of college was as an assistant graphics artist for a soft-pr0n company masquerading as a legit ads/video production company. Being at the company of nekkid young ladies 24/7 for days end is an experience that one will never forget. It was a very satisfying job- I work Monday thru Friday nonstop and then I masturbate from Saturday to Sunday nonstop. If that’s not passion for work, I don’t know what is.

I moved to Canada from my beloved 3rd world country (seriously, what does 3rd world mean?) during the Fall of 2004. It was a very humbling experience for someone who came from a 3rd World Country (I still don’t know what 3rd means). Back home, everything seems to be disorganized Canada is very different. People fall in line everywhere patiently waiting for their turn for whatever it was, people will open the door for you, greet you goodmorning,  you can even talk politics and philosophy with the bums! And my lovely wife prepares me sammich and serves me beer all the time! Pissing on the wall is one of the comforts that I miss the most and so…

Ahhh… what a relief. (Photo credit: Arthur Legardo. Model: Yours truly)

Anyhoo, if you’re still reading up to this point, you might be wondering what the purpose of this blog is. Is it gonna be a comedy blog? A collection of idiotic ramblings? Rants about failed attempts to success? If you guessed all three, YOU ARE EFFING WRONG! Teh Internet is Serious Fucking Business and my mission is to deliver quality content that will help all hapless Interweb n00bs develop their Internet sk1lls and monetize it!

I didn’t really intend to use this domain JohnPaulGomez.com as my homebase but I got disappointed when I googled up my name and some chess grandmaster popped out of nowhere. I suck at chess. I’m just here to take my name back.

Mabuhay!

And oh, who is Manny Librodo?